ITEM#-009: Talkin' Parrot
Stabilization Criteria
ITEM#-009 is housed inside an environmental aviary cell equipped with a standardized natural oak perch, an automated water irrigation system, and a continuous acoustic recording array. The subject exhibits entirely docile behavior and handles standard civilian dietary pellets without resistance, requiring no active physical restraints.
Personnel entering the cell for sanitation rotations or vocal logging sessions must maintain a calm, quiet demeanor. An array of high-fidelity directional microphones must remain constantly active to harvest and index all spoken vocalizations. Under no circumstances should personnel argue or discuss classified mainframe passwords within earshot of the cell.
Description
ITEM#-009 (Talkin' Parrot or Jerry): An adult male African Grey parrot (Psittacus erithacus) measuring approximately 33 centimeters in length, displaying characteristic ash-grey plumage with a bright crimson tail structure. Biological, genetic, and anatomical checks confirm that the subject is entirely organic, mortal, and possesses baseline animal dietary and behavioral patterns, requiring standard domestic avian care.
The subject was initially recovered from a commercial pet repository located along the active Canton, Ohio spatial faultline zone. While Jerry remains completely passive and non-hazardous to physical tissue (TUTUS class rating), his primary anomaly lies in his highly sophisticated, reality-decoupled vocalization capability. Jerry does not mimic the speech patterns of humans currently occupying his immediate room or physical environment.
Instead, Jerry’s vocal cords mimic human dialogue spoken by facility staff members inside alternate, parallel timeline tracks. When Jerry speaks, he perfectly mirrors the exact vocal pitch, inflection, and cadence of individuals like Chief Arthur P. or Dr. Lizzy Vance, broadcasting secret logs, emergency containment breach alerts, and conversations that have never occurred within our baseline calendar history. Testing sweeps indicate that the subject functions as a living radio receiver for auditory waves escaping from adjacent timeline fractures.
Vocal logging arrays show that the accuracy of Jerry's vocal duplication sits at a flawless 99.8%, matching even microscopic breathing rhythms and private inside speech habits unique to the facility founders. Senior researchers have noted that these frequency intercepts spike drastically during heavy spatiotemporal storm windows or localized containment alarms down in Sector Loom-04. Furthermore, because the subject is entirely unaware of the cosmic data he is broadcasting, he will casually speak of catastrophic future facility timelines while simultaneously preening his crimson tail feathers or requesting food treats from his handlers.